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The 10 worst love songs, as chosen by you

By
Editorial Staff

Every year as Valentine's Day approaches, we get bombarded by playlists full of love songs. While many of these songs are sincere and romantic, others are offensive and just plain creepy.

We recently asked our CBC Music audience what love song makes you cringe, scowl and cover your ears. We received a number of great responses. From obsessive stalkers to cheating spouses, the 10 worst love songs, as chosen by you!

Editor's note: some comments have been edited or condensed for clarity.



Paul Anka and Odia Coates, '(You're) Having my Baby'

"(You're) Having my Baby" was a duet released in 1974 from Paul Anka and Odia Coates. Much like the title suggests, the song is about a woman having a man's baby and "What a lovely way of saying/ how much you love me."

As one of our Facebook commenters, Nancy White, said, "Over the years it has stood way above the others — offensive in so many ways. Can I get an amen?"

Amen, Nancy. Amen.



Rupert Holmes, 'Escape (The Piña Colada Song)'

Set up as a romantic comedy, Rupert Holmes' song "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" follows a man as he answers a woman-seeking-man classified ad. When he arrives at the bar, he finds none other than his wife!

CBC Music listener Nisheeta Menon hit the nail on the head when she said, "How is this cute/romantic? Married couple finds each other boring so they go to the classifieds for a random extra-marital hookup based on similar tastes in alcohol and other nonsense and then, 'Oh look, my spouse wanted to cheat just as much as I did, awwww!'"



Chris de Burgh, 'Lady in Red'

Released in 1986, British-Irish singer Chris de Burgh's "Lady in Red" introduced his music to audiences worldwide. Unfortunately, as time wore on, many people grew to hate the song. In polls conducted over the years by Rolling Stone and The Observer, it has been voted as one of the most annoying or worst songs.



Bobby Goldsboro, 'Honey'

This particular love song is a eulogy to a deceased wife. However, the language used to describe her isn't always the most flattering. In one verse, she is depicted as "always young at heart/ kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so."

As Mary Graham Woods on Facebook said, "Still barf-inducing after all these years."



The Police, 'Every Breath You Take'

This song by the Police is often considered the English rock band's signature song. But is it really a love song, even though it's played at numerous weddings each year?

Listener Susan Herder Janes said that the song "sounds like a stalker to me," and Sting himself has described the song as sinister and ugly. This isn't a love song in a traditional sense, but the dangerous tale of an obsessive and jealous lover.



Paul Anka, 'My Best Friend's Wife'

Anka makes a second appearance in the list with "My Best Friend's Wife." This song details an affair between the narrator and his best friend's wife, insisting, "My best friend's wife is the love of my life/ I just don't know what to do about it." This is definitely not a song to spin this Valentine's Day.


Céline Dion, 'My Heart Will Go On'

This hit by Céline Dion consistently serves as a jam or not-a-jam debate for our CBCMusic audience. In this case, listeners across Twitter, Facebook and Instagram all suggested that the Titanic theme song was one of the worst love songs. Perhaps some of the disdain of the track comes from Rose refusing to let Jack on the door.


Captain & Tennille, 'Muskrat Love'

Originally entitled "Muskrat Candlelight," the song was written and recorded in 1972 by Willis Alan Ramsey. The ballad follows the love story of two muskrats name Susie and Sam as they twirl, whirl and come muzzle to muzzle. While it was covered in 1973 by the rock band America, it was Captain & Tennille's 1976 version that really climbed the charts.


Paul McCartney and Wings, 'Silly Love Songs'

Although some would believe that McCartney can do no wrong, we had many members of our CBC Music audience pick this song. User scott.jones.391 on Instagram called the song "over the top." The appearance of the word "love" 33 times might support this.


Frank and Nancy Sinatra, 'Something Stupid'

Carolyn Rohaly put it best when she tweeted, "I don’t know if this is the worst love song ever written per se, but 'Something Stupid (Like I Love You)' is the worst song ever recorded. Father and daughter Frank and Nancy Sinatra singing a love song? Ewww!"


What did we miss? Tweet us at @CBCMusic and let us know what terrible love songs were left off of this list.

Related:

The 11 creepiest 'love' songs of all time

The musical meet-cute: 15 adorable stories of bandmates falling for each other

Love expert Mandy Len Catron on the 7 best Canadian love songs